I'm your A
by mlred
Summary: What should have happened between Emily and Alison during the midseason 5 finale.
1. Chapter 1

I couldn't shake the feeling this would be one of the last times I walked into Emily's house, and possibly the last time I was in her bedroom. Maybe because deep down I knew it would be. The scent of her hair filled the hallway as I approached her bedroom door. All I wanted to do was wrap my arms around her and take in the scent of her—have it fill my lungs and suffocate my heart; because without her I would surely suffocate in this world.

I walked through her bedroom door and I saw Emily standing at her desk reading a text message. We exchanged a few words but I can't truly remember what was said. I was too busy concentrating on her lips to know what was coming out of her mouth. Her voice was angry but her eyes were concerned. It took everything I had not to run into her arms and cry. But I couldn't let her see me cry. I couldn't let any of them see me cry.

Another text. Another lie. This one about her mother shopping. Emily walked past me to go to the kitchen to make tea. Even the simplest of gestures showed how big of heart she has. I couldn't resist the urge and I read her text. Hanna. Of course.

"I'm A?" I said. Couldn't Hanna at least refer to me by my name?

"I don't know? Are you?" Emily shot back. And then it hit me. They think I'm THE A. Emily thinks I'm THE A. The knot in my stomach traveled so high and so fast it was more like a noose around my neck. How could Emily think I was A?

She stared at me waiting for an answer but my heart was torn into too many pieces to speak.

"You are the reason I came back," I finally spoke.

"Why? So you could lead me on? So you could play with the loyal doll?" Her words cut deep into me and I looked down to make sure I wasn't actually bleeding.

"Lead you on? Em, I—" And I stopped speaking. All words had left my body. I couldn't speak; I couldn't breathe; I couldn't believe what I was hearing. And then my body did the talking for me. One foot in front of the other until I was only a few inches from Emily, our lips aligned, I could feel her breath on my face. My heart pounded in unison with hers and I closed my eyes before she had a chance to step back from me and then I kissed her.

She resisted at first but quickly gave in and kissed me back. I missed her so much. Not the "her" that she was when the others were around but the "her" that she was around me. The real her. It had been a few weeks since we had last kissed. The time before that it was a few years. I thought if I could go that long without kissing her—without tasting her—I could go that long again. I was wrong. She is the only person I will ever want to feel pressed against my body.

I placed my hands around her chin as we challenged one another for control over the kiss. I let her take lead as she pushed me back onto her bed. I spread my legs so she could lean in further. Tracing my fingertips down her arm, we never broke from the kiss and I invited her to join me on her bed. I felt her eyes open and I smiled at the thought of her looking at me. She ended the kiss with such ease and I opened my eyes.

"I can't," she whispered. "You're A."

"How can you think that?" I asked. But she didn't answer. Instead she sat alongside of me and placed my hands in hers. She traced my fingers with hers, never looking into my eyes. "Em?" I broke the silence.

"I don't want to love you," she replied.

"But you do," I reminded her.

"Yeah. I do."

"Then stop looking at me with through your eyes—you're tainted eyes—and look at me through your heart. Do you really think I'm A?" My voice became angry.

She stopped tracing my fingertips with hers and looked up at me. Her eyes searched mine for what felt like an eternity and I could only assume she was waiting for her clouded judgment to leave the room so she could see the real me.

"I love you, Em."

"I want to believe you."

"So do it." I couldn't take this anymore. What happened to the Emily who wanted to run away with me?

"I—I know you're not THE A." She finally answered. She looked at my lips and then into my eyes and then at my lips again. She leaned in and kissed me and I felt chills run down my spine as her tongue caressed mine.

I ran my hands through her long hair hoping she knew that it was okay to trust me.

"I'm you're A," I said between kisses.

"Ali," she broke from our kiss but stayed close to me. I knew she was caught between letting herself fall in love and making herself leave the room. I knew what she was feeling because I was feeling it to.

"Can't we just have tonight together?" I pleaded.

"Can't we just have the rest of our lives together?" She corrected me. But before I could answer she placed her index finger on my lips and I slid my tongue around her finger until my teeth were up to her last knuckle.

"That's how deep I want to feel you inside me," I said. Hope of our future together filled her eyes and I watched her lay back onto her bed waiting for me to join her.


	2. Chapter 2

Thanksgiving morning I slowly stood from Emily's bed in an effort not to wake her. It was surprisingly warm outside. Maybe because a greater force knew of the chill that was surrounding us.

The morning after the night I spend with Emily always frighten me. How could it not? Just like the sun, my defenses rise and I force myself to break from her embrace so I can prepare for an unemotional day. She holds onto me so tightly during the night. Maybe because she knows she has to. Maybe she is afraid of the morning too.

"What time is it?" I heard Emily ask, sleep staining her voice.

"Early," I answered. "Go back to sleep."

"What are you doing up? Come back to bed," she smiled. And it was tempting. It was very tempting.

"I have to go home. My Dad said he is making a small dinner for us," I lied.

"Will I see you today?" And then she paused. I guessed it was because she remembered she made plans with Aria, Spencer, and Hanna. And I was no longer welcome in those plans.

"Maybe not today. But tonight?" I questioned. "Forever," I reminded her.

"Come over around the same time as last night," she suggested and then we both smiled. The thought of being with her in the same way two nights in a row seemed almost impossible. But maybe this would be a new reality for us. We just had to make it through the day.

A few hours after leaving Emily's house I heard sirens rush down my street. In this town, cop cars never come to the aid of a cat stuck in a tree. I knew it was bad so I went outside to join the rest of the neighborhood. Everyone was outside Mona's house.

I saw Aria first; her face buried in Ezra's chest. Then I saw Caleb behind Ezra who was trying to get Hanna's attention but she was being comforted by Emily. There was no sign of Spencer and Toby and I considered walking over there to be with my friends but then I remembered how they turned on me and sided with Mona. Who knows what Mona had orchestrated inside her house to make it seem like she was yet again the victim of her own actions.

I stayed next to one of the trucks keeping out of sight as much as possible. I watched Hanna leave Emily for Caleb's arms just as Paige walked up to them. It seemed Paige was welcomed into their group now that I was gone. I watched Paige hold Emily and fought the tears and anger back. Emily needed someone now who could truly be with her in her time of need. I knew Paige cared for Emily but not the way I did.

I heard a loud bang come from the front doors of Mona's house. It was Detective Holbrook walking outside, his eyes filled with sorrow. I smirked. Good ole Mona knew how to put on a convincing show.

The news crew fled to Detective Holbrook as he addressed the bystanders. He said there wasn't a body but it was evident Mona was dead. Hanna began to cry harder and Paige held Emily tighter. I could feel a little part of me die too. Oh, Mona. What did you do now?

I waited for Emily and her friends to leave the scene before I walked home. I checked my phone. Not a single text message or call from any of them. Not even Em. But if she was with Paige then that made sense. As they spent the afternoon with their family giving thanks I would wait for the sun to sink into the night so I could venture to Emily's again.

Hours passed and still no word from anyone. Emily hadn't cancelled so I figured I was still invited over. As I approached her house I saw Paige leaving in her car.

Up the front porch through the front door. Up the stair case and through her bedroom door. This was déjà vu.

"I heard," I made my announcement.

"About Mona?" Emily sat on her bed. "Who hasn't?" She snapped.

I gave her a disapproved look. There was no reason to snap at me.

"I'm sorry," she said. "You're not the enemy."

"Tell your friends that," I let slip. It was Emily's turn to disapprove of my tone. "I'm sorry too. Today has been intense. I didn't come here to fight."

"I've done enough fighting for the day," she remarked.

"I'm surprised my invite was still valid. I saw you with Paige today. And just now. Is that who you've been fighting with?"

"Yes. Always arguing and I'm always having to stick up for you." She looked tired. Not tired from lack of sleep but tired of having to repeat herself.

I walked over to kiss her.

"Ali," she shrugged me off. "Mona is dead." She looked away from me. "And A did it."

"Me A or THE A?" I asked.

"THE A; or you A. Is there a difference?"

"Are we back on that again?" I asked. "What do I have to do to convince you-"

She sighed.

"It's not you I have to convince," I said aloud. "Is it?"

She turned her back to me and I could hear her eyes fill with tears.

"Maybe you should go," she wiped the newly formed tears from her eyes.

"Maybe I should," I agreed. "But before I do I want you to kiss me."

She turned around and faced me.

"Why?" She asked.

"Because if this is the last memory I have of us I want it to be a good one."

She took a step forward and kissed me. But it wasn't the typical sweet Emily kisses I was used to. This kiss was raw and passionate and filled with pain and longing. I wanted to break from our kiss and tell her how much she meant to me. I wanted to tell her I would never do anything to mess us up. But I couldn't. Instead I let my lips and tongue do the talking for me- just without words. Only action.

Before I could catch my breath, I felt Emily wrap her fingers in my hair and slightly tug my head back. The ache in my heart traveled down between my legs and I didn't care what was in store for me. I wanted this moment with her to last forever.

And then I remembered.

"Forever," I said. "You said 'forever'." This was becoming an on going theme between us. "Did you mean it?"

"Did you?" She asked.

But before I could answer her phone started ringing. I was close enough to see the Called ID.

Hanna, it read.

"Are you going to answer it?" I asked.


	3. Chapter 3

"I'm not going to answer," Alison answered me and ignored Hanna's call. "Let's go out tonight. Just you and me," she said.  
"Where to?" I asked.  
"There's the Thanksgiving Day fair tonight. We could go there," she suggested. And before I had a chance to give an actual answer, she was already making her way toward the door.  
With the recent murder by A—or whoever the town was blaming—people were on edge, and extra security measures were being taken. As we walked around the fair, we briefly talked about Mona and what Emily knew. It wasn't far off from what I knew.  
Her body was missing but there was too much left at the scene for Mona to be considered alive. As we continued to walk around the fair, we passed the game area where parents and children eagerly spent their money trying to win oversized stuffed animals by tossing rings on glass bottles. Ping pong balls were heaved across red lines and bouncing off glass bowls with gold fish nervously swimming around in them. Music from the live band in the next tent over pumped through the speakers that were spread across the fairgrounds and the smell of bread being deep fried in oil lingered in the air around us.  
When we approached the last game in the area, the attendant started calling at us on his microphone.  
"One dollar gets ya one dart. Pop a balloon and win a prize. Come on over here pretty ladies, and win yourself a souvenir." He said. I looked over a saw an older man with gray hair wearing a blue ball cap and a white short sleeved shirt. He had on a beige apron around his waist with pockets in the front for money, and darts. "Or win it for your date," he added.  
"Do you want a stuffed animal?" she asked me.  
"You don't have to," I blushed.  
"There's no better way than to remember tonight," the attendant called to us on the microphone again. "Two dollars and I'll give you three darts," he sweetened the deal.  
Emily and I walked over to the dart game and she looked at the wall of balloons. Green balloons, blue balloons, and red balloons were all tacked to a thin board in a very neat grid. Pin holes and popped balloons surrounded the balloons that had yet to meet their fate. She dug into her front pocket and pulled out two one dollar bills and handed it to the attendant.  
"Step up folks and watch as this amazing lady takes home the prize!" He yelled into the microphone while handing me three darts.  
Emily lined the dart up with a red balloon that was mixed in with a cluster of blue balloons and threw it. It flew through the air and landed in the middle of the red balloon, popping it with a loud boom. She took another dart from her hand and aimed it at the next balloon within the cluster balloons and threw the dart with the same amount of force. She popped that one as well. For being a swimmer she has really good aim. But from what I knew about Emily, if she set her sights on something she usually got it.  
"One more balloon and I'll upgrade you to the large stuffed animal," the attendant pointed to the stuffed animals that were at least four feet tall. One was a purple gorilla, another was a blue elephant, and hanging up high in the corner was a red and yellow penguin with sunglasses.  
She aimed the last dart and aimlessly threw it toward the cluster of balloons that was diminishing now that sheI had taken out two of them. The dart hit against a green balloon and bounced off of it and landed point first into the ground. The green balloon was still intact. She missed.  
"Better luck next time, darlin'," the attendant said and handed her a green stuffed frog less than a foot tall. The frog's tongue was hanging out of its mouth and it was holding a heart between its hands that read YOU ARE RIBBITING in white embroidery.  
"Thanks," she looked at the frog and then at me and then back to the frog again. She handed me the frog with hesitation and a smile.  
"You're ribbiting, too." I laughed, feeling my face turn red. We stepped away from the dart game before the attendant could talk us into another round.  
When we walked by the food court, I saw Detective Holbrook inside the beer tent talking to other officers from the station.  
"Do they have cotton candy?" I asked.  
"It's a fair," she laughed. "Of course they do." And then she took my hand in hers and led me through the crowd until we found the line for cotton candy. About ten people back, Emily stopped when we reached the end of the line but she made no attempt to let go of my hand.  
Being there with Emily, doing what a normal couple would do on a normal date, I had almost forgotten the stresses of Rosewood; until I saw Hanna and Aria walk by. Where was Spencer? And why was I so nervous to see them?  
Emily accepted a pink bag of cotton candy from the worker and passed it to me as she paid the three dollars. She walked along side of me as I tried to open the plastic bag but my hands were so sweaty I couldn't get a grip on the plastic. I was a fumbling mess and I didn't know how to calm myself down. I knew Emily was watching me completely lose it in front of her but it was as if someone else was controlling my body. Like a three year old child had the remote control to a radio car and wildly started pushing the joystick making the car run into walls.  
"Let me help you," Emily gently took the bag from my hands and undid the twisty tie that was at the top of the bag. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have reached for your hand," she said as she held the bag open for me.  
"It's not that," I looked away from her and over to her friends. She looked too.  
"We can leave if you want," she offered. But it was too late. Aria and Hanna were already on their way over toward us.


	4. Chapter 4

I could feel Aria's and Hanna's eyes pierce right through me and into Emily.

"I tried calling you," Aria stated to Emily.

"We tried calling you," Hanna corrected her. Neither one of them acknowledged I was there.

"Having your calls ignored, I wonder what that's like," I said aloud purposely trying to start something. Emily shot me a cold look. The others continued to ignore me.

"Can we go somewhere less... crowded?" Hanna asked Emily. The three of them looked at me as if they were asking for my permission.

"I'll leave if Emily wants me too," I snapped.

"I just need to talk to them for a few minutes. I won't be long," Emily said. I guess I had my answer.

I walked away in silence. Emily had never chosen them over me before.

I sat at an empty bench about twenty yards away and watched Emily bicker back and forth with Hanna and Aria. I still didn't know where Spencer was. After a few minutes, Hanna stormed off and left Aria and Emily to continue talking. Emily was crying and Aria was trying to calm her down. If these were the kind of friends they had turned into, the kind that make one another cry and then walk away, maybe it would have been best if I stayed gone.

Aria hugged Emily and then they parted ways.

"Did you sort everything out?" I asked as Emily approached me.

"Not really," her eyes were still glazed with tears.

"Where's Spencer?" I asked. "Preparing for round two with you?"

"Spencer was arrested this morning for Bethany Young's murder. Her parents are working on bailing her out. They hit a financial snag." Emily wiped a few tears from her eyes as I stood from the bench.

"My dad has money... I'm sure he can loan them some-" I started to say but Emily cut me off with a kiss.

"That's the Ali I'm in love with," she said. "The considerate and generous Ali." She kissed me again. "Can we finish our date please?"

"You already won a stuffed animal. What else is there to do at a fair?" I started to walk alongside of her.

She just shrugged her shoulders and studied me- hesitant to look away.

"I missed this," I let slip.

"Missed what?"

"I missed having our looks turn into stares." I couldn't help but tell the truth. She was so beautiful just standing there.

"Why did you kiss me outside of the barn when I passed out?" She asked her question so quickly it was like she had been dying to know the answer for years.

"Because that was the only way I could express how perfect you felt to me."

She gently slipped her hand around mine and placed her fingers in between mine. She smiled when I looked at her.

"Is your dad going to be home tonight?" She asked me.

"No, why?"

She stopped walking and turned to face me. Leaning in, I could feel her lips align to my ear before she spoke.

"Because I don't want him to hear the things I'm going to do to you tonight."

And before the ache I felt for her could turn into a comment, I felt her left hand tug on the front of my shorts pulling me up against her as she kissed me.

(To be continued...)


	5. Chapter 5

The stuffed frog Emily won for me at the fair last night was resting peacefully between us when I woke this morning. Emily was still sound asleep and I knew she would be for quite some time. The energy she used to make my body tighten and squirm and writhe beneath her was no easy task. I slowly sat up and ran my hands through my hair. I smiled as I remembered her fervidly tugging on my hair with her free hand as she worked inside me with her other hand. The raw devotion in her eyes as she kissed me was all the talking we needed to do last night. Looking up at her as she filled me with more love and passion than I ever had been before I knew if my love life was a book, Emily would be the final chapter. I was falling more recklessly in love with her by the minute.

I put on Emily's shirt and tip toed out of the room as to not wake her. But she woke anyway.

"What am I supposed to wear?" I heard her groggily ask.

"How about a Santa suit?" I hinted to her upcoming favorite holiday.

"You just want lots of presents," she smiled as I sat next to her on my bed.

"You gave me enough 'presents' last night," I laughed. I lost count after I reached double digits.

"You gave me quite a few as well." She sat up from the bed, her hair a perfect mess. "I have to go home. Do you want to come with me?" Her invite sounded more like a marriage proposal. I would have said "yes" to either.

"I suppose you want your shirt back," I started to take it off.

"Just until we get to my house. You can keep it when I change."

Within twenty minutes we had dressed, and brushed our teeth and hair. As we walked down my driveway to Emily's car, I started to feel uneasy. Being in the real world, or anywhere that wasn't a bed with Emily, made me think of everything going on in our life that seemed against us. Mona's passing, Spencer's arrest, Hanna and Aria's sudden turn on me; and then there was A. But I had to remind myself the only person worth coming back to Rosewood for was Emily and she was all mine. Finally.

"I didn't want to ask this last night," I broke the comfortable silence. "But what did Aria and Hanna say to you at the fair?"

"They told me about Spencer." She started the car.

"Em..." I knew she was holding something back from me.

"They told me to be careful with you and not to let you in," she put the car in reverse and backed out of my driveway.

"Oh," was all I could say.

"I don't think that of you. That I need to be careful." She smiled at me.

"You do need to be careful, Em," I warned her. "You're in constant danger because of me."

"It's worth it." She held my hand. Within a few minutes we were at her house.

"Why are they here?" I asked aloud. Hanna and Aria were sitting on Emily's porch. Aria had a cup of coffee next to her and Hanna was busily texting in her phone.

"I don't know," Emily put the car in park and shut off the ignition before forcefully opening her door. Her eyes were locked on them and she wasn't happy.

"Em," Aria said gaining Hanna's attention. "You're not alone," she muttered.

"No, I'm not. What are you doing here?" She snapped. I stood close behind her.

"We were worried about you." Hanna spoke. "You didn't answer my texts," she added.

"Because I don't want to get into it." She snapped again.

"Is there some place we can go that's more private?" Aria whispered so I couldn't hear.

"Anything you have to say to me can be said in front of her," Emily came to my defense.

"Fine!" Hanna yelled. "You're sleeping with the enemy."

"That's right," I finally stepped in. "I'm "A"," I mocked Hanna's accusation from a few nights ago. The accusation that started all of this.

"Well, you are." Hanna yelled back at me.

"She is," Emily confirmed. And we all went silent. "She's my A." She cleared her throat. "She is who I want to be with and either you accept that or... you lose me too." Her voice trailed off.

"Emily!" Aria shouted as Emily started to walk inside her house.

"Think what you want about me; I honestly don't care. But don't you dare make Emily suffer because of it." I snapped at both of them.

"Let's just go," Hanna told Aria.

"What have the two of you lost?" I wasn't finished with them. "Emily lost her chance at a scholarship. She lost her house. She lost a girlfriend. What have you lost?" I repeated. "You put yourself in danger because you need it to feel alive. Emily puts herself in danger because she is trying to save a life."

Hanna and Aria just stared at me as they searched for some playground insult to stab me with.

"Spencer lost her freedom-" Aria said.

"Her parents will have her bailed out by tonight." I cut her off. "Don't give me the poor Spencer speech. She's far more guilty of what's going on than I am." It felt good to be myself again. "You have lost nothing. I lost my mom," I hit back with the truth.

"Mona," Hanna jumped in.

"Mona," I repeated with a smirk. "We'll find out the truth soon enough, I'm sure." I looked past Aria and Hanna and saw Emily come back outside. She stayed on her porch watching the feud. "I mean it. If you hurt Emily because you think I'm "A", you'll regret it."

And before they could say anything I walked in between them, my shoulders slamming into both of them and walked into the house with Emily.

"Things are fine for now," I lied as Emily shut the door. "You won't have to choose between us," I held her hand and kissed her.

She hesitated for a second before she let her smile take over. Thankfully she believed me.

"I seem to remember you owing me a shirt," I tugged at the one she was wearing. Her smile grew bigger as she took off her shirt and let it fall to the floor. "How could I ever be so dumb as to think I was just practicing with you." I smiled back. "You are the real thing."

THE END


End file.
